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I’m working at home today (and getting a ton done, go figure) when there’s a knock on the door.

It’s someone from the Jehovah’s Witnesses offering me a booklet called “Technology: Blessing or Curse.” Nice meaning guy, but obviously not of the “know your audience” school of marketing.

I said I’d be glad to talk to you about the evils of technology. Let me do the following things first.

- Stop watching Netflix on my PS3.

- Turn off Slacker streaming radio.

- Stop writing blog posts for ErieBlogs.com

- Playing Bejeweled on Facebook

- IM’ing with my work colleagues in the office

- Writing a review of a cloud-based management app.

- Charging Evan’s iPod

He’s coming back next week. I think I’ll be in the office that day.

I wish I had a time machine so that I could go back in time and sit down with Rivers Cuomo. I’d want it to be exactly the day before Pinkerton comes out. I’d sit him down and tell him what a masterpiece the blue album was, and Pinkerton is amazing - it’s deep and it sounds different, which is very good. The songs on Pinkerton are amazing and it takes a while to dig down deep into them and pick out little nuggets of fun, little bits of pop inside the jangly guitars.

Don’t be discouraged, I’d say. Pinkerton’s going to tank, initially. That’s going to be really hard for you. Trust me, I know disappointment. But in time, people are going to love this album. Whatever you do, don’t give up on making great pop tunes and wearing your heart on your sleeve.

To reinforce this, I’d take him in my time machine to the present day, and make him listen to what he’s created post-Pinkerton; show him he’d lost his way. I’d make him listen to “Beverly Hills” and I would force him to listen to the abomination that is a new song with Weezer and Lil’ Wayne. It’s so awful, it’s like you’re not even trying. Look at these lyrics:

Monday to Sunday I hit all the clubs
And everybody knows me when I pull up
I got the real big posse with me, yeah I’m deep
And if u lookin for me I’m in vip

That’s not even trying. Take El Scorcho. You’re trying and you’re telling stories in each of the songs. There’s no story to tell in “Can’t Stop Partying.”

I asked you to go to the Green Day concert
You said you never heard of them
How cool is that?
So I went to your room and read your diary:
“Watching Grunge leg-drop New-Jack through a press table…”
And then my heart stopped: “Listening to Cio-Cio San
Fall in love all over again.”

It’s too late now, but if I had my time machine, I’d tell him to keep on keeping on and write music that means something to you. If you are true to yourself, it will show through in the music and you will find an audience. Seeing what they are now is just sad.